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Use Your Power – Choose Your Friends

Posted by on Oct 3, 2011 in Abundance, Artists, Courage, Fans & Tribes, Life Coaching, Personal Growth, Purposeful Art, Self-Improvement, Success | 2 comments

Use Your Power – Choose Your Friends

So how, exactly do we choose our friends? Well, like choosing ANYTHING in life, it helps to know what you’re looking for.

It all starts with a list.

The list is our first real step if you think it might be time for a change in your life. It took me a couple years to make this change, I’m not sure that reflects super-beautifully on me, but hey, timing is timing. I’d like to help you guys make it sooner, easier, and more consciously.

Make a list of what old things were important to you on the left side, and on the right side, make a new list of things that are important to you to have in someone you hang around. Making this list might shine a light on some of your ‘creative crew’ that are not on the same page as you. That’s ok. Every person can grow. They can easily grow with you.

At the same time, it’s going to be important to allow them all their own freedom and choice. If they end up saying "I don’t wanna be solution-oriented right now, and I’ve always hated acting big," that’s their choice.

This is sometimes one of the hardest pills to swallow for someone who’s really connected to their friends and relationships. Well, get used to it. Every human has a choice, and the people who were around when you were born, the people you went to school with, and the people you work with are not always 100% ready to go where you’re going. Sucks, I know.

The Art Of Friends List

Old Default List:

  • They need to be close to me
  • They need to like some things I like
  • They need to fit nicely in the ‘norm’ of society, for the most part.
  • They have to talk big
  • They are just confident enough to accept me, but not to grow with me.
  • They have to see me as cool.

New Deliberately Chosen List:

  • Success-focused
  • Habitually and ever-expandingly in-tune with themselves
  • Win-Win solution oriented, prioritizin harmony and ease
  • They focus on knowing themselves and confidently offering their value to the world
  • They dream, think, feel, talk, walk, and act big
  • They aim to be uplifted by me, to and elevate me, in every interaction
  • They gladly take on roles and tasks that are not my preference, and vice-versa
  • They still have to see me as cool :P

 

I`m sure your list is much better, but whatever the case, we now have a starting point, and clear guidelines to help us. If someone says "Hey, I love an easy life, but I won’t change to get it, can I be your friend/client/lover/whatever?" – you’ll know what to say and have solid ground to explain things.

Alright, so people aren’t usually that up-front about it, but now your mind is trained on what to spot, and it will keep you on track. Just the simple exercise of writing (and I do mean writing — the power of writing is uncontested throughout history) this list, will get you started.

What’s Next?

So now you’ve identified what you used to have, and what you prefer to have now. What’s next?

We’ll touch on that in Part 4.

Note: This is Part 3 in a series on Consciously Choosing Relationships. Check out the rest below:

1. Rocketships Or Cars? – The Art Of Friends
2. The Status Quo – Friends By Default
3. Use Your Power – You’re reading it.
4. How To Lift Off, It’s Not That Scary
5. Transforming Destructive Relationships – It`s Improv
6. Start And End With Win-Win

Jason helps you successfully bridge the gap from where you are to where you want to be, using his clarity & insight to help you rise in all areas. He speaks, writes, and offers success-coaching at http://RyzeOnline.com. He’s been featured on Firepole Marketing, Building Digital Empires, PuttyLike and IntuitiveSoul Radio. Follow him at @jasonfonceca.

Did you enjoy this? Do you want more? SpiritSentient has become RyzeOnline.com, click here, go there, sign-up :D

 

  • http://www.blake.co.za/blog Rochelle

    Thank you for this post. I love how your list changed[in a good way] My new list is much different than my old one, I now look for different things in friends. 

  • http://jasonfonceca.com JasonFonceca

    That’s beautiful Rochelle! I’m so glad to hear it. The world benefits a lot when people get clear on what they want and focus on that :) Thanks for sharing! If you’d like to share your list, I’m interested to hear what you look for :)