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All Is Creative: Social Circles Can Make Your Head Spin.

Posted by Jason Fonceca on Dec 1, 2008 in Confidence, Conscious Creation, Life Coaching, Personal Growth | 4 comments

Today i want to talk about the powerful effect social circles can have on creativity. all our interactions with the people in our lives are actually us exercising our own creativity as well as being exposed to theirs. the actions and re-actions we all choose determine our social circles. there are many cliches that come from this such as “you are only as good as the company you keep” or you’ve been “hanging out with the wrong crowd.” what these statements are attempting to summarize, is that the people around you are a reflection of yourself and your growth and your current state of being from moment to moment. perhaps you’ve noticed how big life changes can often change the crowd you hang around with.

“John wasn’t sure exactly how it happened, but he and his high school buddies had drifted apart.”

“Jade was so glad to be out of that relationship, it was really stifling her, but she lost all their mutual friends.”

“Jason wasn’t upset about the others reactions because he knew he was on to bigger and better things.”

Have you ever drifted away from friends or had them drift away from you? Have you ever been in an abusive relationship and left it, or been ejected out of it? Ever seen argument or a fight with friends turn out to be for the best?

So how does all this rhetoric relate to creativity?

NEW-NESS

When most people encounter the word ‘creative’ they generally envision a form of one or more of the following:
-a new process
-a new result
-a new innovation
-a new experience or feeling
-something original
-something unique
-something personal

the common theme here is a ‘new-ness’ of some kind, and what that means exactly may be another article entirely. what i’d like to focus on today is how new people and new social circles can affect one’s own creativity.

All Is Creative: Risk, Risk, and Risk Some More.

Posted by Jason Fonceca on Sep 22, 2008 in Confidence, Conscious Creation, Life Coaching, Personal Growth | 3 comments

Risk. The verb ‘risk’ is a scary one for many people. Merriam-webster defines it like so:

: To expose to hazard or danger.

…which is a reasonable definition for the purposes of this post. All of us take risks everyday that we don’t even give a thought to, simply to live and survive. We walk outside without fear of being randomly struck by lightning, but it happens. Many of us cross against traffic, not even at a stoplight, while statistics show that pedestrians are generally at serious risk with tons of high-velocity metal vehicles moving all around them. These are things generally taken for granted (though I’m sure you can find a handful of people who actively feel trepidation as they cross the street or walk outside, but they are considered ‘paranoid’ in their reactions to these situations by society). I read an interesting article on psychologytoday.com that researched the actual statistical risk factors involved in everyday things we fear, and the results/conclusions drawn were extremely interesting. It addressed questions like why do so many people in our society who do chronically, severely detrimental things such as smoking – which ‘shortens life’ an average of 5 years – do not fear their habit but instead have an intense fear towards flying in a plane – which shorten’s life an average of 1 day. at the end of the article there’s a quiz on risk-statistics with questions such as: “Which has killed more Americans, bird flu or mad cow disease? ” Answer: no American has died from either cause.

The actual risk involved in many situations/actions… is rarely directly related to our fears regarding them.

Many of us suffer from extremely irrational fears unrelated to actual risk-factors? Sort of. It depends on one’s view. It’s possible to look at it in a way where everything is a risk. It’s been said that all we really have in this life is “time”, which we can trade for “anything we want” (often time is traded for money.) So whenever we spend our time (or energy, or attention) on something, we are risking missing out on all the opportunities of directing our time/energy/attention elsewhere. Every time someone takes a pill, prescribed or not, they are risking a severe allergic or cross-medicated reaction, and at the same time choosing not to take the pill, they risk missing out on relief from malaise or pain. Every choice we make is one of risk. Some simple choices result in some of the most absurd and improbable deaths.

A pleasantly-phrased explanation may be gleaned from this short prose on risk, from an unknown source (but I’d love to know who wrote it,) and i appreciate it.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to others is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is to do nothing.

The person who risks nothing,
does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave,
they forfeited their freedom.

Only the person who risks can be free

How often have we not spoken up because we might look foolish? Ever encountered a guy or girl you felt strongly like speaking with, but chose not to? Can you remember why not? How often have we chosen not to help someone or passed on an opportunity because we feared being involved, perhaps a cause or relationship required some relatively small time committment, but we were scared to give up our freedom, and so it never came to be. What was the motivation? How do we want things to go?

Since we take risks unconsciously every day, just to live and survive… I propose that the people who truly excel in life, the people who thrive, take ‘risks’ consciously.

Even writing articles like this is a risk of sorts for me. On the one hand, I am pursuing my dream, doing my own thing relatively far outside of society’s recommended paths, and with every step I am open to the possibility of falling flat on my face, and yet — almost paradoxically — at the same time I have a deep, pervading knowledge that I am doing the ‘right thing’ and failure is ‘not what lies ahead for me’. I could be ridiculed or look stupid after ‘wasting’ my energy because I did not ‘succeed’. I could be bombarded with wrath and ire from people who do not appreciate the things I am saying. I’m not concerned about these things, which brings me to the most interesting view on the concept of risk for me personally.

Nothing is a risk.

What’s that? Nothing is a risk? This is my personal view on risk. Free-climbing the grand canyon, kissing someone with a deadly communicable disease, playing in traffic — none of these are off limits to me because none of them are risky. To properly wrap one’s head around this, it’s important to first be at home with this concept:

Everyone (with a physical body) dies a physical death.

If we’re ok realizing that everyone dies, then we realize that any action we take will either bring us closer to death a ‘little bit’ or a ‘lot‘.¹

So let’s say we believe that every action we take brings us closer to death by a measure.

The next concept to understand is:

That no one knows rationally whether death is something to be avoided.

We truly have no idea if death is some trascendent form of awesomeness or just us becoming worm-food (though our physical/bodily instincts certainly jerk us away from it as if it is,) or something else altogether.

cartoon by rex babin

I know you’re still following so we have inevitable death, and human beings not even knowing if that is ‘good’ or ‘bad.’² and to really demonstrate just how all up in the air it is, I’d like you to be open to the concept that every action others take, or nature takes, or whatever, has the potential to bring us closer or further from our deaths by a certain measure and:

It is our own actions in combination with the actions of others/nature/life that really decides the outcome.

Except you can only choose your own actions.

So the situation is this:

1. Everyone dies.
Dying may be a desirable step, an undesirable step, or a neutrally desired step.

2. Our actions in life combined with everyone/everything else’s actions in life affect how close we are to death at any given time.
We can only choose our own actions, and cannot control any of the external actions/choices occurring in life.

People can die from just about anything, in any way and besides that, trying to avoid it is futile. Now this is a very analytical, logical, mental-process-driven look at things, and it paints a view of nothing being a risk since the outcome is already decided and seems almost infinitely out of our control. So where does that leave us?

It leaves us with a completely blank canvas of life, to live as creatively as we please with every choice, with zero fear of the consequences, since it’s all a ‘crapshoot’ anyway.

So how do we decide what to do?

The upside of viewing all this in absence of logical, rational criteria, (besides variety of experience,) is that it allows people to live life as art and beauty and creativity. We can live and choose from our hearts, and do what we _feel_ is the right thing.

Won’t that result in paralyzed confusion with no criteria in making decisions, or even complete anarchy as everyone acts wild-crazy selfish with the proposed ‘no-consequence’ mentality?

Possibly. Paralyzed confusion and/or a type of hedonistic anarchy is a possible result. I’d love to reassure you 100% that this scenario would not occur, but nope, it’s a possibility.

Humanity has evolved extremely far from its beginnings. We’ve learned so much and taken huge strides. We’ve accomplished tremendous things. Perhaps at this point we’re on the edge of a change, in which we are finally ready for the kind of creative freedom I’m talking about. Perhaps that’s why people like me are writing articles like this.

Perhaps a few people can make the jump to living-from-the-heart with risk-assessment not necessary, all the while co-existing with the more conservative/reserved people who’s lives revolve in fear/risk-factors.

…or confusion and anarchy could rein. Hey, sure it could. that’s a possibility; That’s a risk

¹Even this is not necessarily true once we transcend the concept of time or if we understand ‘pre-destined’ times of death, or how one’s thoughts affect life in tandem with the plans of god/the universe, but that’s another post altogether. Or bunch of posts.
²There are a significant number of people who label any action that appears to have the result of keeping them alive or safe from death as ‘good’, and vice-versa.
³ regarding the photo above: lorenzo! is author of a book called 25 lessons – the art of living. in it he discusses his personal experience with risk, here is an excerpt: “Just as it happens to millions of others, I began to loop around as I fulfilled the various sacraments of modern life: professional job, marriage, children, better paying corporate job, moving out of the city to suburbia. As a result, I began to take a lot less risks, I began to play it safe and in turn my soul began to shrivel, as it yearned to be on the edge, it hungered to be out there venturing into the unknown, it was eager to strike a chord.”

All Is Creative: Learn New Skills, Embrace Personal Growth.

Posted by Jason Fonceca on Sep 10, 2008 in Confidence, Conscious Creation, Life Coaching, Personal Growth, Play, Thought-Management | 1 comment

So you’ve always wanted to learn guitar, but never took the steps. or your friends have been trying to get you into rock-climbing or yoga and you’re interested but never quite make the jump for whatever reason. or perhaps you wanna do something subtler like break through shyness of some kind or just initiate conversation with strangers more.

many of us have been there: sitting with all kinds of hopes, dreams, interests and desires, all remaining unfulfilled for whatever reason. It is important to note, that this is a choice, and it is changeable.

much of what i teach touches on child-like characteristics or behaviours we may have abandoned since childhood, and for good reason. it is true their are certain childish ways to be done away with, but it is generally not prudent to throw the ‘baby out with the bathwater’ ( unless of course the baby is being annoying and crying and stuff and the bathwater is filthy ) — children are at home with themselves, and ready to learn just about anything they truly desire to learn. the lesson to remember here, is do not let your fears stop you from learning a ‘new’ skill.

what are some common fears? “i won’t ‘get it’ or be good enough,” “if i fail i’ll look foolish or stupid and others will make fun of me,” “this will be a waste of my time or ‘nothing’ will come of it.”

i believe my father felt this way towards public speaking some time ago, and since then he’s been a teacher, a lecturer, and he is still asked to speak in all kinds of venues and is lauded for his connected and powerful communications and teachings.

have you ever felt this way? i have. i felt this way about dancing for a long time, when it came down to it, i was afraid of looking foolish and not being good enough (had a bit of a perfectionist streak at the time.) now, some years later, i am fine with it, and simply choose not to engage in it very often. usually its on the street or in my house, and sure i could stand to learn some actual techniques like ballroom or salsa — and i will, when the time is right. when i am not putting so much energy and focus into my creativity and art and this blog. that is my main drive and desire lately, and that is really what should guide one towards learning new skills: not fears pushing you away from things, but allowing your desires to drive you past/through the fear you may feel.

i won’t ‘get it’ or be good enough:

sometimes we are naturally gifted with an innate talent for a certain skill, and sometimes the one’s that do not come easy are dismissed with phrases like the one above. thoughts like that are self-judging and essentially predicting the future. stop judging yourself. if you find yourself thinking that way, go ahead and make a choice, choose to stop it right now. if we examine things we’ve done in the past, it often becomes apparent that many of our skills took quite some time to build up (think riding a bike or swimming or something,) and if we’d held the attitude of “i’ll never understand this” then of course we would’ve stopped trying and it would’ve become a self-fulfilling prophecy. the cliche of “never say can’t,” while kind of bland to hear parroted over and over, holds a lot of water. (yes, a cliche to describe a cliche, i love it

i might fail and look foolish:

first of all, yes, you *might* fail in an endeavour, but its just as possible that you *might not.* anything could happen, a stranger could swoop in and help, an undiscovered/unknown talent could flourish, or you could end up being waaaaay better than you were when you last tried it, simply because you’ve grown and become a different person.

secondly, if you’re surrounded by people who judge someone harshly as they are in the process of learning and growing, perhaps take that as a wonderful wake up call to learn-in-front-of / associate with a different crowd…

thirdly, look at anyone who is considered ‘good’ at a certain thing, they have almost certainly failed once, and likely many times, as they practiced and developed it. awesome guitar players have generally missed fingerings more than we know. great artists tend to have tons of junk sketches, old works, and tossed away doodles. athletes almost always end up injuring themselves in pursuit of their craft.

trying will be a waste of time:

for most of my teens and early 20s, i believed that “renting was a waste of time” and that “bothering to rent was like throwing away money.”

how did i end up renting then? i just tried it.

when i made that decision, i was spending 10 hour work days in hard, physical labour at a warehouse across town. i spent 2.5 hours getting there and 2.5 hours getting back home for a total of 15 hour work days, and that’s only if work didn’t end up going late. i just barely made time for my girlfriend and family and friends at the time, which is fine but it was often by sacrificing food, sleep, or… dare i say it… showers i was prone to getting sick, i was pretty miserable, and life was telling me rather strongly that the situation had to change.

so i took some of my paycheck and rented a place closer to work. i chose to engage in the action i had previously judged as a waste of time.

not only did renting close to work relieve tons of burden from me time & travel wise, it taught me a ton of things about living on my own, gave me more self-confidence and self-reliance, and opened up cooking as an artform when i realized i was responsible for my own groceries + recipes with the resources around me. learning these valuable things has helped me realize the strong force in life i always have been, but chose not to acknowledge. a few hundred a month for rent in trade for priceless self-discovery and realization of who i really am? that deal is a no-brainer when i look back on it. during the time though i fought it tooth and nail, remaining miserable for as long as i could manage. hah

it was not necessary for me to take the route i did, there are easier ways. my desire is for others to benefit from the easier ways, heed my words, and embrace things sooner, rather than later – you may find it most certainly was anything but a waste of time.

so, am i practicing what i preach?

some people realize their full worth from the beautiful near-perfection reached from specializing in one thing, some are more jack of all trades-types. the latter are often considered ‘master of none’ but we can look to leonardo da vinci’s renaissance-man skill-set and note his high degree of competency. for myself, my range of talents are broad, growing, and i intend for that to continue throughout my life.

recently i’ve taken steps towards improving my martial arts/sparring/body awareness with my brother drew — which if i’d never tried, i’d never have realized i have a strong natural aptitude for and it feels great.

i’ve also been getting into creating DJ sets with my brother nick, combining my tremendous taste and broad library with the flare for composing and blending things into a unified work — which is an awesome art in its own right.

on the horizon i’m hoping to create my own music as well, and who knows what doors that will open.

i’m also learning tons about creativity (and i intend to help others do the same,) the web, and ‘business.’

anyone have anything to contribute? a story? a wish? a “j i hate you and your articles?”

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