Don’t Forget The Little People

Lady Gaga’s latest album, has taken pop charts by storm, and is interestingly named: The Fame Monster. Fame is a topic that doesn’t seem too heavily addressed in our society. Most people are more interested in gossiping about celebrities’ personal lives and envying them, rather than attempting to enlighten each other to the true nature of fame.

Lately this topic has been popping up in my life, "Don’t forget about the little people when you get famous, k?", so, time to share on it. Ready?

Sometime ago, I posted an article about social circles (Social Circles Can Make Your Head Spin), and how they can be a significant indicator about where one’s life is heading.

This article was generally well-received, and people seemed to understand that if they wanted to manifest change in their lives, the might be able to start by changing who they spend their time with.

There are so many moments in each day, and each of those moments holds a choice. We can spend those moments with people who are bitching and moaning about life, career, mistreatment, etc. Or we can spend them being grateful for all our life experiences and choosing to spend moments with the biggest thinkers, fastest growers, and most positive people we know. If you have no one amazing to spend them with, you can spend the moments aiming to broaden your social circles. You can meditate, pray, work, eat, whatever.

Perhaps you’ve never thought about each moment as a conscious choice in this way…

Well a great many ‘famous’ people have thought about it on some level. These people are generally confident people, who have no compunctions about choosing who they spend their time with, and they have no problem assertively stating this preference to the various people who attempt to be involved in their lives.

Let’s go through an example.

Let’s take Joe; Joe Famous-Now. In Joe’s past, he was a lazy musician, smoking weed and pissing away his days with layabouts and settling for the status quo. All Joe’s friends knew this about him. Now, Joe’s vision is expanding, and he can really see himself succeeding. He starts enjoying spending more and more time with one successful guy (Mike), whom he met at work. Mike has some brilliant ideas on how Joe’s band can succeed, but only Joe is receptive to them. He tries to mention these ideas to his band (business cards, benefit shows, get the word out) but many of his old friends still see the same old lazy Joe, and keep inviting him out to do the same old lazy things, so they rarely talk about Mike’s ideas nor do they remain attentive enough when they listen. Each time this happens, Joe feels a weird feeling in his gut, like he wants to tell his old friends ‘no,’ he’d rather make music, spend time with his successful-friend-Mike, or relax at home.

In fact, he’d rather do anything but make his same old choices, and talk about the same old things. He knows that telling the gang this will likely result in confrontation, judgement, and bitter feelings on their part. Joe knows, that each time he goes against his intuition, and spends his moments with these people bitching about the government and doing drugs, it feels as if he’s wasting his moments. He knows deep down he could choose something more satisfying to do.

So…Joe chooses to spend his moments doing things that feel right to him, and further his goals, whether his old friends can see that or not. He decides to tell his friends, each in the way that feels best, about his choice.

What is Joe thinking at this point?

Joe hopes that ‘real friends’ would respect and honor all his decisions, even if they did not agree with them. Joe even hopes that they’ll choose to join him in spending his moments better, so perhaps he and his old friends can spend moments together doing BIGGER things, like demo-ing an album, trying to meet inspiring musicians in the industry, or getting some outdoors exercise. He vaguely tries to encourage/propose these things, but is greeted with apathy, lethargy, and dismissal.

Therein lies the issue, his old friends’ habitual bitterness, laziness, judgement, and tendency towards hurt & drama, are the exact things that push Joe towards his successful-friend-Mike.

Joe knows his back-and-forth-waffling can only continue so long, and he begins to speak his feelings, pursue his vision, and take the actions that feel right to him.

Depending on how sensitive everyone is, this may either be a decision that feels horribly cruel and harsh ("Joe is abandoning us! He doesn’t care!") or can feel amazingly wonderful ("Wow man, Joe’s really turned his life around, he’s totally doing bigger things, I kinda miss him though…")

When looking at this from the ‘famous’ person’s perspective, they tend to want what’s best for everyone — they enjoy succeeding in life, and they’d love for their old friends to match their vibe, and come along for the ride.

After spending time with Mike, Joe has a stronger presence, a charisma, and the look and feel of a successful musician. More people pay attention, networking comes so much easier, as does support. He starts to feel lucky. (More on luck in SpiritSentient’s upcoming book Idealution & Thoughtsperity… watch for it!)

Joe starts to find that his friends can’t even *bring themselves* to be around his presence, as when they do, they can’t help feel lowly, envious, small, and like a failure.

Joe never says or does anything to intentionally do this. He just appreciates and is grateful for all the good things happening in his life. His old gang asks him "What’s up?" so he fills them in about all the people he met, songs he wrote, and opportunities he had during the week.

They respond with… the same old.

They feel like shit about themselves and stop returning his calls or making it out to his events. They feel like "little people." They all started from the same spot (the lazy-band,) and Joe started making small choices with his moments, and they added up, and things changed.

‘Famous’ people, if you have the chance to sit down and speak with them, may surprise you, for they tend not to see distinctions between ‘little people‘ and themselves. 99% of them realize that they started out as a ‘normal’ person and took some steps and ‘became’ famous. They realize that anyone can do what they’ve done, and they don’t view themselves as ‘special’ — They have an interesting *perception* of themselves and other people.

When people interview famous people though, the topic of conversation is rarely "How are you different from other people? Why does the world see you as a freak?"

People who are ‘not famous’, and especially those who worry that they’ll "be forgotten by the movers and shakers" on the other hand, almost to a man, view themselves as ‘normal’, a segregated group, and as ‘the little people.’

Interesting perspectives; perception is powerful.

There are no little people, there is no fame. Every individual soul matters so much and so little simultaneously. Fight Club came close but…

We are beautiful, unique, snowflakes. The thing is, at the same time, we’re still just snowflakes.

Love is all there is. Acceptance and love for my path in life and others’ paths is joy. Some people choose fame, others do not, honor both choices, and in doing so, you may find you get more of exactly what you desire.

…and 99% of what we sayin’ wouldn’t be liked.
I’d be like ‘fuck you’, my name’s Famous
They call me that so I got somethin’ to live up to.
And so I’m guessin’ that’s up to us to,
Stop bull-shittin’, watch us bust us.
Niggas gotta stay on our grind and our huss-tle.
- Ashton "Famous" Bishop, Toronto Hip-Hop Artist

Addendum: Steve Pavlina (love this guy) just tweeted: “If you want to become more disciplined, add more disciplined people to your social circle, and spend time with them.”

Jason helps you successfully bridge the gap from where you are to where you want to be, using his clarity & insight to help you rise in all areas. He speaks, writes, and offers success-coaching at http://RyzeOnline.com. He’s been featured on Firepole Marketing, Building Digital Empires, PuttyLike and IntuitiveSoul Radio. Follow him at @jasonfonceca.