Does This Thought Pattern Hold Back Your Relationship?

We recently had a suggestion (request?) that a post on how two people at different levels of growth could have a relationship. We’re going to look at this as meaning a relatively traditional, exclusively intimate relationship.

 

 

There is a thought-pattern, like a virus, that loops over and over in some people’s minds, which hold them back from connecting to their crush, significant other, partner or spouse.

Comparisons. It seems simple and natural that we compare, we live in a relative world after all, and we’ll address this properly, but first it’s good to know what relationships are, and what their purpose is.

What Are Relationships For?

Are relationships something so that a person can make you feel good? Are they to get pleasure? Support each other? Certainly these things can be involved, but If you think relationships are something you "get" or "achieve," you’ll have a drastically different experience than someone who understands that relationships are for mutual growth.

Even if you don’t understand that relationships are a tool for mutual growth, both parties will still grow through them. It likely won’t be as pleasurable and much of the growth will occur through mutual frustration and suffering. If you do consciously understand that relationships are for mutual growth, then both parties will grow quickly and well, and the growth will come more through appreciation and pleasure and co-creation. The conscious understanding of relationships is highly recommended, and that brings us to the next point…

Have You Ever Been There?

If you’re in a relationship with someone who is currently expressing an unconscious understanding of relationships, then ask yourself, have you been there? If you’re having difficulties relating to your partner on the topics of money, vision, career, religion, sex, health (or any topic), it’s due to a lack of mutual understanding of those topics and each other.

If you feel you’re the person with the understanding that will help life, the world, and your relationship more, can you communicate this in a win-win way? And were you always so advanced in your understanding of relationships and life? Because everybody comes to understandings (money, health, sex) at their own pace, and you have no control over them.

So let’s say, you see yourself as someone with a higher understanding of money — or even relationships in general, and let’s say you see your significant other as having a lower understanding of relationships. That’s okay, everybody’s different. Are you able to truly accept this? Maybe you can accept it, and they can’t, and their lack of acceptance is irritating or frustrating you.

Was there ever a time in your history where you were behaving in a similar way? And if you grew out of that phase of "not really getting [blank topic]," could your significant other not accomplish this same task or feat? What would stop them? Are you simply better than them? Or are you both equal, and as you’ve done, so too can someone else, and wouldn’t you be the perfect person to teach them since you’ve already done it? Are you able to see yourself as a person to show them how? Do you see them as capable of reaching the understanding that you have? Or do you simply think, over and over, "Oh this is awkward", "Oh this is confusing", "I don’t know how to help this person" and other not-so-confident thoughts?

Do You Understand Your Own Thought-Power?

That brings us to the next point: If you’re having any difficulty relating to another human being or harmonizing with them and you really feel passionately inspired to do so, it’s a sign or a reflection on yourself. If you realize your thoughts, attention and focus can change things, then you know that even the thought of yourself as having a higher understanding is dis-empowering and contributing directly to your difficulty in relating.

Comparisons Are Relationship Killers

How can two people at ‘different levels’ of growth have a relationship?

This may be hard to hear, but even the fact that this question is being asked the way it’s being asked is contributing to the divide and the gap between the two parties. This article isn’t intended to make any question-askers feel bad about anything they are doing. The question itself is beautiful and inspires this beautiful response, and the question is a sign, a reflection of a way of thinking.

The way of thinking the question reflects, is one of comparison and separation. Comparisons can be made in a conscious way, if you are simply acknowledging the difference in vibration between two people and loving the difference with an accepting heart and complete and utter faith that it can change at any instant, when the time’s right. That is a conscious, aware, evolved view of things, and the initial question becomes something more like:

"Please share with me any ideas or physical actions you’ve had experience with in promoting my partner’s growth and understanding, because I intend the best for them."

This contains not even a hint of judgment, and the comparisons aspect is irrelevant. This is much different than an unconscious & judging question, which is similar to:

"I’m abundance-based, they’re struggle-based, how can I make this work?"

Summation

Basically, whenever you’re comparing anything, high/low, light/dark, good/bad — especially in relationships — pay very close attention to your own feelings, inspiration and motivation, and choose the highest thought you can about yourself and the other person in order to promote change.

If that does not feel good to you, be open to the possibility that it is a sign from your instincts / god / life (whatever you believe in) that it’s not your life-purpose at the moment to be with said person, connect with said person, and create with said person together in the same intimate relationship.

There we go, opened the doors and shed some light on rockin’ the relationship groove.

It’s a hot topic, I know you guys got stuff to add, let us know in the comments!